Finding myself

On Monday a new chapter of my life begins. I have signed up to do a Biggest Loser contest with a good friend of mine. Most of our accountability will be online. The contest will run for 90 days. I've let myself go. I haven't achieved so many of my goals and I'm devastated with myself. How did this happen? How did I let myself get over 300lbs again! I feel like I continually let myself down. I haven't run a half marathon, I haven't ran a mile in under ten minutes outside or even on the treadmill. I haven't bought a bigger vehicle. When I look back on my goals so few have actually been achieved.

That ends here. In May, I finally graduate with an associates degree. This has been a long time in coming. I'm taking the next year off of school to decide what I want to do for my Bachelor's degree before I kick that off. I also want to get some of the pounds of debt off of our shoulders. I need to figure out why I keep failing. Why I keep not hitting my goals? I need to value myself as much as I value everyone else.

I'm setting a huge, kind of crazy goal for this contest. I'm doing this the biggest loser style for reals. I want to lose 100lbs in 90 days. This is doable but it will take all my dedication and effort to make it happen. I'm sticking to a 1200 calorie diet, daily workouts, drinking 100 oz of water per day and committing to get at least 6 hours of sleep every night. I'm done failing. This 100lb push will get me to the point where my end goals aren't so far ahead of me.