Photo by Robert Collins on Unsplash
“Don’t make friends who are comfortable to be with. Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up.”– Thomas J. Watson
Friendship is something incredibly special. I have many acquaintances but only a handful of friends. This is quite the change for me. Back in college I was a social butterfly. I had dozens of people I choose to hang out with at a given time. I bounced from group to group easily. As I have grown up I have lost the ability to merge with different groups. I don't think of this change as a bad thing. When I was younger I changed my personality to fit in with different groups. I do not think I knew who I truly was because I masked who I was to make the people around me happy.
As I have gotten older I've realized that having hundreds of friends is not as important as having those core friends. Taking the time to make friends with quality people is also incredibly important. I have been burned by allowing my friendship to fall into the wrong hands. I have had people who I consider to be my best friend who I trusted with everything betray that trust, lie behind my back, and spread horrible rumors.
I allowed someone who was not as equally invested in myself as I was in them into my inner circle. Saying goodbye to a toxic friend is not easy. There is a great pain especially if the person was your best friend. The same kind of pain as when a relationship ends. We go through the same levels of grief, anxiety, and depression. Wounds take time to heal and we do not trust as easily the next time.
Thankfully for me time has passed and my heart has slowly healed. I took time to look at who I wanted to be and who I wanted to surround myself with. I have chosen some amazing friends who hep me level up. One friend has grown over the past few years. Our children were in the same classes at school and we've gotten closer and closer. I can depend on her for anything. She is always there for me and I get to the opportunity to be there for her. Her faith is strong and she is a no nonsense kind of person. She is someone I can be real with and we enjoy spending time together. We have similar interests and love our kiddos. Having that person who you can get together with for coffee and play dates who gets you when you talk about struggles is amazing. We are walking similar paths and I'm excited to share a lifetime of friendship with her.
My sister is one of my best friends. She is such a great friend that we now claim each other as relatives and our families have accepted that as well. We have done life together for almost three decades. We do not always have the same interests or likes but we have history and we love each other through difficult waters. We've walked beside each other and faced some great demons. We have slayed monsters and have rejoiced with our happy moments. We will always be together even though we are incredibly different. She is the type of friend who challenges me and makes me think about things from a different direction.
I have my work group, my mommy group, and my church group of friends as well. They all support me in some way. We laugh together and we enjoy spending time together. We may not be close or walk hand in hand but if something were to happen I know they would be there and I would be there for them as well.
The final group I want to talk about is my online group of friends. I have been blessed to be a part of a Beach Body group that supports my healthy life choices. Sometimes I think I am more vulnerable with my beach body team and my thrive team then I am with my real friends. We all share the same struggle towards a healthier life and because we are kind of anonymous I think it is easier to share the battles we are going through.
Friendship can be a ton of work but going through life alone means missing out on an entire network and support system. In order to get the most out of a friendship there doesn't have to hundreds of people. I like to look at the bible and see how Jesus modeled friendship. Jesus had one best friend (the disciple he loved.) Who he knew would do anything for his cause, would be willing to die for him and ended up living in exile years after Jesus' return to heaven. He had 3 key friends. Those were the disciples he knew had his back and would always be there for him. He had 12 in his circle who he invested in and spent time with. Then there was the 72 who he sometimes hung out with but would wear him out. Jesus talked about and showed how important love for everyone was but he also demonstrated with his life the layers of friendship/relationship. I think this is a great model to base our friendships off of.
Gratitude Practice
1)My beach-body coach
2) My beach-body group
3) Beach-body's workout
4) My Thrive Tribe
5) Daily accountability
6) My husband for his accountability
7) My kids for their accountability
8) My bosses
9) Chore lists
10) Schedules
Things I have Accomplished:
1) I have completed our schedule for the school year and began implementing it.
2) I have taught my kids how to cook for themselves
3) I have taught my kids how to clean up after themselves.
Goal (Written as if it has already been achieved):
I have an awesome morning and evening schedule!
What do you appreciate about your friends and loved ones? Do you have an accountability group or partner? Do your friends help you grow? What layers of friendship do you have?
What do you appreciate about your friends and loved ones? Do you have an accountability group or partner? Do your friends help you grow? What layers of friendship do you have?
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